The second half. The first one's here.
Hello, friends and fiends! I guess you've probably read like a million year-end blog posts by now, and you think that this is a tad too late. But hey, we still have that New Year vibe going on, right? There's still time before it completely subsides, so let's get into it.
Instead of torturing myself with a recall of how a whole year went, I'm gonna give you something more useful: the top 5 lessons that I learned in 2010.
#5 -
The things that we see on film and TV can actually happen in real life, so you better ready your ass for it.
It's not like I'm saying that people these days are deluded with dreams of living perfect lives. My point is, whether we admit it or not, we always have a hard time accepting. But you gotta trust that there's always a good reason why shitty things happen. We might not know it right away, but we will once we dig through the shit and discover the lessons to be learned. It's a grueling internal process, but it's worth it.
I have my share of wrongdoings last year, and some them even caused people to do really bad things to me. And the funny thing is, I used to only see those "bad things" on screen and laugh at them, thinking that they're too absurd to happen to me. I didn't know that they're actually gonna crush my balls someday. But I've realized that I made those bad choices, nobody else. So whatever consequences they've brought, I have to learn to forgive myself first, and then forgive those who have hurt me for making those choices. I know some of my friends will say that I'm too much of a saint to blame myself. Well, that's how life really works, I guess. You don't get peace by committing revenge or coming clean of blame. You find peace by forgiving and forgetting. And that's what I'm doing now.
That lesson made me realize #4 -
You're not going through it alone.
Those film and TV scenes might have happened to you unexpectedly, but that doesn't mean that your case is a special one and that there's no possible ending yet to what you're going through. Guess what kiddo, other people have already experienced that, and I bet that they made it out alive. So don't drench yourself in misery!
That's what I did. I got cheated on and lied to for the first time, and it was done by someone whom I didn't expect would do such things, so I got really blown away by it. But I eventually snapped out of the shock, realizing that a gazillion other people have been cheated on and lied to. And they all have moved on, so why can't I? Tell yourself that you can move on. It might take a while, but you'll get through.
See what I did there? I made a choice. I didn't just let time do it's healing of wounds. Why? Because I learned #3 -
Choice overpowers time when moving on, but choices wear off and time doesn't.
What do I mean by that? It's simple: moving on is a two-step process. First, you gotta firmly decide that you want to move on. Don't let time decide for you! Once you're on track, stay on it and then allow time to do its magic.
I see life as this train that runs through the track of time, and every choice we make makes us switch tracks. So when you want to move on, switch to a different track by making the choice that you do want to, and then continue running through time's tracks. Does it make sense? I hope it does! I may make it sound easy when it's not, but at least there's a warning that personal choices should come first. It's all in your hands.
Top 2 Lesson -
Honesty is no longer the best policy.
Hmm, how am I going to explain something that seems like a wrong advice? Let's just say that the truth shouldn't always be told. Sometimes, it's better to just let it come out naturally. Not all people, even the ones that love you genuinely, can take the truth. Moreover, if your relationship with that person is breakable, like you're friends or romantically involved, then there's a big risk that your relationship will get cut.
So, are you willing to take that risk just so you could release the steam inside you? What's more important to you, then? Again, it's a matter of choice and knowing which outcome can you put up with better. But keep in mind that there's a difference between not telling the truth and lying. Whatever your intentions may be, just prepare yourself for what's gonna come. And please, no regrets. Every consequence is an opportunity to learn!
So, what's the number 1 lesson that I learned in 2010?
Don't give all of your self in a relationship.
This should be a no-brainer, but a lot of people out there are easily blinded by love that they look past all flaws and doubts and do everything for their significant other. That shouldn't be the case! Remember this: if you partner is not trying hard enough to reciprocate your affection and efforts, it's not worth it. It takes two to tango, so to speak.
Why is it the top 1 lesson? Because the experience that made me realize that changed me. I don't look at love and relationships the same way anymore. The change is kind of a mixture of both good and bad, but at least things were altered, and those alterations made me braver. I can now say that I'm ready to face whatever 2011 has in store for me and my heart.
Well, you know what they say. You gotta learn life's lessons the hard way, or else it won't stick to you. Because of that, I thank all the ones who came into my life last year. I thank everyone who loved me and kept me whole, and the ones who hurt me and made me learn. That's a sign that forgiveness is on its way, right? Yey!
Anyway, if you were wondering how my year ended, let me tell you that it ended how it was supposed to. We didn't try to break away from our family's tradition this time. We did the usual lighting of fireworks before we had Media Noche while the lights of the house were on and music was playing in the background. And you know what? It felt so right. =)
So! My year-end blog post ends here. I'm wishing you all a better 2011. Happy new year, everyone!
